Hello Neighbor

Last week, I visited Grandma, and as I was getting ready to leave, she asked me if I would be able to cut the nails on her right hand. "I can do the left one, I just need the right one done." I cringed and agreed to do it. I am always afraid that I will cut Grandma's nail too low and blood will gush everywhere. I figured she had this fear too, as it has been so very long since she requested I cut her nails. Just as I was about to get the bowl of warm water for Grandma to soak her hand in pre-trimming, my mother came in with one of Grandma's neighbors, "Jane." Jane is Dorothy Zbornak minus the humor and feminity. She is a very tall lady who I've seen more than once in overalls, so I believe she must have a playful side, but I could be wrong in that assumption. In fact, I'm pretty sure I am. My mother announces, "Jane wanted to say hi, Mother."
"Oh, hello," my grandmother seems less than pleased to have company. My mother and my grandmother have actally known Jane long before Grandma was living across the hall, as their families went to the same church. Jane is about 12 years younger than Grandma, and claims herself to be "very active, and not around the apartment that much because she is always out doing something, like volunteering." I don't know how true this is because I see her around quite a bit, but maybe it's between her appointments. We hear a bird whistle. A sound I always hear at Grandma's. "That must be the parrot that belongs to the people downstairs," my mom says.
"That bird has a filthy mouth," Jane responds.
"Really?" My mother asks, fairly surprised.
"Oh, yeah. It's always 'effin-a-hole, or eff you, you old B-word' when I walk by."
I think, huh, even birds get fed up with the elderly.
"But the lady that owns, it, she's a sweet old lady, right?" My mom asks.
"She's not that sweet. Or OLD," Jane adds.
My mother and Jane talk for a little bit, while my grandmother just kind of looks on smiling, speaking up occasionally. Jane was an elementary school music teacher, and this just seems like such a perfect job for her. She reminds me of my elementary school music teachers, no humor, no warmth. I would have guessed it as her profession immediately. I can tell Grandma really wants Jane to leave. This becomes evident when she gets up to go to the bathroom. I thought for sure, she's going to blow it up in there. Nothing will clear a guest out of a small apartment as sooner than that. No fireworks in the bathroom, so when Grandma comes out she asks me if I will cut her nails now. That works, and Jane gets up to leave. Later on that night, my mother complains to me that Grandma wasn't as social with Jane as she should have been. "Asking you to cut her nails, she might as well have asked you to wipe her ass."
"Or maybe, she should just get a parrot."

-Jojo